Remembering. . . March 1, 2009
My heart is such a mix of emotion tonight. I went shopping with Mama, had dinner with my family, got things ready for tomorrow, singing at church, my brother and future sister in law’s wedding shower…then I got ready for bed, closed my computer, turned off my lights and snuggled deep under the covers, begging myself NOT to let my thoughts go where I knew they’d been heading for the past week. Don’t do it Erin, I told myself, just go to sleep, turn off the wheels in that head of yours and SLEEP!!
To be quite honest, I have dreaded this day, March 1, 2009, for a while now. One year ago today my precious friends were hit head on by drunk driver. One year ago today an innocent life was taken because of someone’s foolish and selfish choice to drink, do drugs and then get into a car. One year ago today Mr. Daniel Hottman went to be with his Lord, leaving behind Aunt Christi, Winston, Hannah and Erica. One year ago today many lives were forever changed because of one person’s choice.
On Thursday there was a court hearing held to sentence the young woman who’d been charged with one count of Intoxication Manslaughter and four counts of Intoxication Assault. I had never been to something like that. So many feelings and emotions hit you when you sit through something like that. Feelings of anger, sorrow, helplessness, tension, nervousness, and pity…because you see a family you love dearly hurting, having to re-live the worst night of their lives, yet on the other hand you see a different family, also hurting, pleading for the life of their daughter, sister and niece…you see a young woman, no different than any of the rest of us, begging a judge for mercy and one more chance. Yes, no different than us…excepting one detail. One very important detail. The grace of an Almighy Father. “I can’t hate her, or not forgive her when Christ has forgiven me. If not for grace, there I go.” Aunt Christi said to us many times that day. It was a very intense, emotional and hard day, but I was amazed by the Hottman family and their truly Christ-like response and attitudes toward a person who took something from them that can never be replaced, and turned their worlds upside down. I was amazed to watch as they looked at this young woman and with confidence and compassion said, “I do not hate you, I forgive you and I am praying that you will make a choice today to trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior.” What an incredible testimony of the POWER and FAITHFULNESS of our Lord!!!!
Please remember the Hottman family in your prayers today and in the days ahead. Walking through the valley is not easy but there would be no significance to the mountain if not for the valley’s in between. Pray for the Doyle family as well. That they would be surrounded by that Peace that passes all understanding and that the young lady Amanda, would come to know Jesus Christ in a personal way and live a life changed for the Glory of God. I know Mr. Hottman wouldn’t want his death to a pointless one, but that the POWER of CHRIST would be seen and made known…and if even one soul is added to the Kingdom of God because his life was taken, it was worth it.
I have also dreaded this day for another reason. One year ago today I saw a sweet, precious friend and sister for the very last time. When I hugged her goodbye and she said “Bye, I love you” to me, I had no idea that it would be the last hug she would ever give me, or the last smile I would ever see. One year ago today I walked out of a church leaving a wedding, not knowing that four months later I would return to that same church for a funeral. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about Christa and many times at night I dream about her.
My heart aches today over great loss and reflects on how many things can change in one year…but one thing will NEVER change. I know that God is good, ALWAYS and in ALL things and ONLY does things WELL. And I know that both Mr. Hottman and Christa Ann are rejoicing today in the presence of the Lord they loved and served when they were on this earth.
Please remember the Baker family in your prayers today as well. And please don’t stop praying for them or the Alexander family. The longest road is still ahead.
Tell those you love that you love them today. Give them that squeeze that you forget to give sometimes and spend that time with them that doesn’t seem to ever be there to spend because you’re too busy…and LIVE every day of you LIFE.
I really love the song “Borrowed Angels”…so I’ll leave you with the words and a couple of pictures that made me smile through the tears tonight…
They shine a little brighter, they feel a little more.
They touch your life in ways no one has ever done before.
They love a little stronger, they live to give their best.
They make our lives so blest, so why do they go so soon?
The ones with souls so beautiful;
I heard someone say…
There must be Borrowed Angels, here in this life.
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright.
But they can’t stay forever, cause they’re Heaven sent;
And sometimes, Heaven needs them back again
They reach a little deeper, they see what’s in your soul.
And even when they leave you know, you’ll never let them go.
The world’s a little richer, just cause they came along.
Their love goes on and on, so why do they go so soon?
The ones with souls so beautiful;
I heard someone say…
There must be Borrowed Angels, here in this life.
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright.
But they can’t stay forever, cause they’re Heaven sent;
And sometimes, Heaven needs them back again
How else can you explain why they’re here and not here to stay?
I believe there must be, must be, Borrowed Angels, here in this life.
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright.
But they can’t stay forever, cause they’re Heaven sent;
And sometimes, Heaven needs them back again.
I came across your little blog that you wrote about the the year anniversary of the Hottman accident. I am a friend of the drunk driver and her family, and I can’t begin to tell you how amazing it is that so many people that are so close to the Hottmans have such a compassionate heart concerning the woman that took Mr. Hottman’s life! Your kind words are endlessly refreshing and I’m ever so greatful that you have all been able to forgive her after having done such a horrible thing. I’m a follower of the Lord with my every breath but I can only hope that if I were in your shoes that I would be as kind-hearted and forgiving of Amanda and her horrible mistake. I’ve heard a lot of bad things said about her, and it’s somewhat ironic that the people who the tragedy affected most are the ones with the nicest things to say about it all. Your prayers for her and her family have not gone unanswered, the family is doing well dealing with the consequences of her actions. I hope that you are all pleased with the outcome of the trial, and I think now we’re just all praying that her time in there is very soberring and that she can come to the Lord so that when she does get out she will be a much better person and will never think of putting another soul in the position you’ve all been put in! Pray that she will emerge a devoted mother and daughter and sister to the people who are on the outside now, being criticized on her behalf! Thank you again for all of your kind words, and your loving, forgiving hearts, and please pass that on to the Hottmans. The quote about Mrs. Hottman saying she didn’t hate Amanda, that she forgives her simply broke me, and I’m eternally greatful that you are all such outstanding people! I can’t say thank you enough, and I’m very sorry about all you’ve been through and all you’ve had to deal with over the past year! I will continue to pray for the Hottmans and all those close to them, and we need to all continue to pray for Amanda, I believe that now she’s the one who needs it most!
What a beautiful post…a testimony to the grace of God! Thanks for sharing, Erin, and for reminding me to pray.